Millennials and Dating

My girlfriend sent me an article about why our generation is failing at dating today. The article discussed technology, ghosting and disconnectedness. She especially related to it because of her recently ended relationship.

This article got me thinking: are Millennial’s “bad” at dating, due to our weakness at connecting on a deeper level? Or, are we simply a generation that refuses to settle, due to our independence, heightening access to the world, and wild imaginations (constantly dreaming of bigger goals, successes, and passions – always chasing the next high).

Fifty years ago, the norm was a stable marriage, happy children, and a white picket fence. That stability and “American Dream” is what the bulk of society chased. As the years wore on, we gained access to education, knowledge, power, equality, technology and the world as a whole. With this, the standard changed, or in some ways, abolished completely. Finally (and in my opinion, thankfully), individuality become accepted, and sometimes, celebrated.

Millennials found comfort in being alone. Perhaps, to some extent, we are never alone with our Instagram accounts and Netflix, but our bedrooms have become quiet and our beds have become empty. We no longer seek to fulfill the standard society laid out for us. Instead, we welcome adventure, and the world has become smaller, so men won’t chase the neighbour simply because the cease to believe a better fit might be out there.

The philosophies and social norms have changed with the generations. This may have made dating more “difficult” than the courting and and the 9 PM curfews. However, as scary as terms like “ghosting” and “bread crumbing” may be, if we are a generation that has learned to not settle for anything but extraordinary love, than did we really lose? Furthermore, if we are a generation who has learned to not only welcome, but accept independence, self-sufficiency, and on some nights (when the silence creeps in) even loneliness, then are we actually doing an injustice to dating? Or are we simply seeking justice for ourselves.

Thanks for reading, xx

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8 Lessons From My Single Year

Hi lovelies,

This month (May 28, to be exact) marks one year since I moved out of the house I purchased with the man I thought I would end up marrying. A year ago, I was laying in bed next to his sleeping body wondering “how the hell do I get out of here?”. How was I supposed to leave? He may have been distant, but he had good intentions. He may have not provided for me emotionally, but he was not a bad person. I had actively built that life with him, and then I was searching for a way to leave it.

I have been gone for one year, now settled comfortably in my own (quiet) home, and here’s a little that I’ve learned:

  • Silence can be music. An empty schedule can be the most fulfilling plans. Freedom and alone time does not have to equate to loneliness.
  • Nothing is permanent. This is both the scariest and the most comforting thing I’ve learned over the last year. This point has allowed me to appreciate connections, pain, relationships and happiness more. Everything is fleeting.
  • The little things really aren’t worth stressing about – the bitchy girl at work, the bill that comes out next Tuesday, the 2 AM date that left you crawling out of a guys bed. None of this matters – you can chose to embrace it or let it hinder you. Make it a story to share, roll with the punches, and breathe.
  • Being single allows you to completely build your life the way YOU want too. There is no compromise, there is room for selfishness. You want to move to another city? Do it. You want to get a sleeve tattoo? Do it. You want to go to a bar in a brunette wig and introduce yourself as “Katie”? Do it.
  • The best relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. Nurture that relationship first. Love that woman first.
  • Be unapologetically yourself. I spent so much time bending the basis of who I am as a person to please people. BE YOU. The right person will love you for it.
  • Appreciate genuine connections but know that they don’t need to mean forever. You are 50% of those connections – be comfortable, be carefree, be sincere and they will come by more frequently.
  • The most unsuspecting moments will become some of the most profound memories. That first dog-walking date that never produced a relationship, that back-deck conversation on a summer night…those will stick with you.
  • Become the woman you dreamt off – independent, carefree, confident.

The most dangerous thing about me is that I am my favourite company. You will have to fight me for me. – OfYesterYear

Inauguration and Equality

“Remember, we are not afraid, that we are not alone, that we will not fall back down, that there is power in our unity and no opposing force stands a chance in the faith of our true solidarity.”

Madonna

 

womensmarch

I am a woman. A proud, resilient, outspoken, powerful woman. Sharing my womanhood with billions of other incredible, strong, brave women. More so, I am a HUMAN – sharing my humanhood with billions of other talented, kind, wonderful HUMANS – of all races, religions, and sexualities. I am proud to share pieces of me with pieces of other people that lead with kindness and love. I am Canadian, and yet, I feel the profound pain that the American’s are feeling at this difficult time.

The Inauguration occurred two days ago – within it, undertones of hatred, inequality and fear. The progress we have made concerning basic human rights has been spat on by a man given the power to run a country. We have hit a wave of uncertainty with our minority  groups facing roadblocks that should have been destroyed centuries ago.

I identify as a feminist, and more so, I identify as a HUMANIST. I identify as an individual that believes in protecting all of ours rights, and allowing all of us the freedom to live a whole, happy, brilliant life. I am a woman who will offer you respect, kindness and love regardless of your gender, race, religion or sexuality. I promise to seek your heart. I promise to advocate for your innate human rights. I promise to stand with you in any time of need.

I am not defined by my monthly cycle, or the weight my chest bares. I am not defined by my “pussy”, or the wage gap between myself and my male counterparts. I am defined by the turmoil I have faced and how I overcame it. I am defined by the lessons of my powerful mother, and other likeminded women. I am defined by my capacity to love humanity equally. I am defined by my brain, by my spoken word, by the qualities I possess. I am a woman, and I am proud to be a woman. However, I am significantly more than the shackles and limits put on what “womanhood” can entail – as are all of you.

Today, and everyday, I stand with America. I stand with my fellow women. I stand with every skin tone under the rainbow. I stand with any book that leads your religion. I stand the entire LGBTQ community. I stand with every individual who can lead with love.

Love always, from the bottom of my heart,

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